Thursday, 10 February 2011
Subsultus
I am drained, something sears through my chest. I cannot contend with this again.
Water gathers around my eyeballs and it must clear because I am a man, and people are looking at me.
I want to collapse and pass out, to erase everything, because walking through this town feels like a funeral procession.
There is an echo, you metamorphised. The view from our flat is irretrievable.
We exhumed our relationship and fought like stags, and I gave up, forcing my forehead against the wall to knock myself out.
I wake up like a murderer every day, I have repressed the memory of you, the concealed body. I am in denial, such have I hidden you, and then I wake and you return and my heart pounds. This is too much to carry, I will be caught.
The bloody tissue, my nervousness when I lie and touch my face.
France appears; books, illness, depression, the Tate, Andersen's grave appear.
There is always an indicator.
To sleep sweetheart, to rest.
Water gathers around my eyeballs and it must clear because I am a man, and people are looking at me.
I want to collapse and pass out, to erase everything, because walking through this town feels like a funeral procession.
There is an echo, you metamorphised. The view from our flat is irretrievable.
We exhumed our relationship and fought like stags, and I gave up, forcing my forehead against the wall to knock myself out.
I wake up like a murderer every day, I have repressed the memory of you, the concealed body. I am in denial, such have I hidden you, and then I wake and you return and my heart pounds. This is too much to carry, I will be caught.
The bloody tissue, my nervousness when I lie and touch my face.
France appears; books, illness, depression, the Tate, Andersen's grave appear.
There is always an indicator.
To sleep sweetheart, to rest.
Monday, 7 February 2011
May
And it was you collapsed on the floor, sobbing, and me standing over you with a sharp pain in my chest. And then you'd leave and I would be left alone, isolated and incapable of cooking or eating, doubled over on the sofa with your duvet over me and the walls empty.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
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